Thoughts on "the Good Life"

Thoughts on "the Good Life," aka my gym:

• Why do they play nothing but angry nigger music?
• Why is my towel always half the size of everyone else's?
• Why does the fat lady in the white high-waist knickers have to sit on the bench and spend fifteen minutes slathering her entire body in lotion?  I mean, I know it's important to moisturize, but come on - do that at home.
• Why are the 5 lb weights always gone?
• Why is every TV monitor set to the Y&R?

Thanks for listening.